LIVING alone was once considered a pitiful situation for a woman. She's been left on the shelf, others might assume, reading self-help manuals and watching re-runs of Friends.

But forlorn twenty and thirty-something women drowning their sorrows in chardonnay Bridget Jones-style, it seems is a stereotype of the past. These days living alone is now seen as an "empowering rite of passage" which helps women enjoy life to the full, doing what they want, when they want.

According to a report by the Institute For Public Policy Research, more and more women are becoming proud bachelorettes, choosing the freedom and independence of solitary life over shacking up with the boyfriend or sharing with fellow housemates.

"Women are much better able to look after themselves," says Phillip Hodson of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. "They are better adults than men in that sense. Living alone you have got to organise your washing, shopping and cleaning routine as easily as you organise your e-mail file."

"It just really works for me. I'm a busy, busy bee and I've got a lot going on. I go out a lot, I go to the gym a lot, I've got lots of different social groups, so I'll be out a lot catching up with various people.

"I'm busy at the weekends too, so living alone is fantastic because when I come home it's my own space, it's my time to relax and I just really enjoy having my private space."

So says Lindsey, who has lived alone for five years. And she certainly likes the fact that there's no housemate or boyfriend messing up the place.

"I like it this way - I like not having to worry about anyone else," she says. "I am quite particular about being clean, tidy and organised so I like that there is no mess - and if there is it's all mine. It suits me best to be by myself as I can come and go as I please.

She adds: "At some point in the future I would like to settle down, but until then I'm happy to live alone and I won't live with anyone else until I'm getting married - I wouldn't even live with a partner now. I feel because I've done that in the past, I want to do things the right way.

"If I have a boyfriend I am quite happy for us to live separately, do our own things and meet up. It would be seen as taking a step back to me for us to live together before marriage.

"More women want to live alone now and although many still live with friends if they could financially live alone then they would. More women are in the workplace and more women are in empowering roles so it goes hand in hand. Of course we want to be home-owners - owning our own homes, by ourselves."

"I absolutely love it," she enthuses. "I've chosen to live alone for the past four years and it's incredibly freeing and definitely not something that I have been forced into.

"I have lived with numerous flatmates in my time and know that if that's something I still wanted, I could do it tomorrow. But the luxury of being able to get home from work, or a night out, and close the door, knowing that I can act as I want, eat what and when I want, welcome who I want into my home, do the housework when - and if - I choose is really important to me at this stage in my life."

When Lesley bought her own flat she decided she would do all the things living with others prohibited. She decorated her home with her own taste in artwork, furniture and furnishings. She splashed out on the four-poster bed she'd always wanted. She did the dishes when she wanted. And when she came home from work and wasn't in the mood for chit chat - she had a quiet home.

"There was no feeling like it when I got my own place," recalls Lesley. "I wouldn't want to go back to living with flatmates. I'm used to my own space, and not having to rely on others.

"It's nice to know that not only can I cope with living alone but that it makes me happy. I was lucky enough to be able to afford living on my own and be able to make the most of it."

And Lesley says she's (quite literally) not alone in wanting to live alone. "I know of other women who want to have the same lifestyle and I think it comes down to disposable income. I have a friend who is desperate to live on her own, but doesn't make enough to be able to do it. Particularly in Edinburgh, a one-bedroom flat will cost £450 a month which is a lot - so if more women could do it, I think they would.

"I do still think that it is seen by some people as an unusual - or forced - state. People can sometimes assume that this is a 'second best' way of living and that women would much prefer to have a family - or a least a partner - around them all the time."

She adds: "I know that in the future I will probably want to live with a partner again, although the transition does worry me a bit. I enjoy having my own place so much, I think it will be difficult to go back to sharing space."

"I bought a flat in London before I moved here last year, and although both were two-bedroom properties I never wanted to rent out the other room. I really enjoyed coming home to an empty place and being able to do what I want. It now seems like such a long time ago since I shared."

She continues: "I don't feel I'm missing out on anything, really. For me, the main advantage is being able to have people to stay without it affecting anyone else.

"Also, say you've come home after a knackering day at work and you find someone's eaten all your food, or the place is a mess, that's what you'd have to contend with living with others. When you're own your own you know that when you return, the flat will be in the same state as you left it in."

Like Lesley, Amanda believes more and more single women are choosing independence. "The opportunity is there now," she muses. "Women have better-paid jobs and can afford to live on their own. Plus, I think people probably are more confident and just want to do it.

"I have benefited from living alone. It's made me pro-active, and I'll organise my social life, for example. You learn life isn't so easy but you also learn how to do things for yourself. I've got female friends who've never lived on their own and they turn too easily to other people for things.

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